Clothing Optional?

Just a bit of a silly rant... my mom is having trouble finding a dress for my wedding. She doesn't realize she's having trouble finding a dress, but I do. She's verrrrry laid back about it, in no rush to find it, and knows exactly what she wants:

she wants to match the wedding party
she doesn't mind if she matches the wedding party
she wants a long dress
she may be ok with a shorter dress
she wants to make her dress out of fabric she bought
she wants to buy her dress from a store
she has absolutely no interest in actually going to a store to shop for said dress
she wants me to help her pick out a dress
she hates every picture message of a dress i send to her

I know where this path leads, and it ain't nowhere good. My family is notorious for lateness/putting things off. I actually think somehow my Uncle Randy (Wendy can verify) may have somehow missed that gene. The rest of us are screwed. My excuse is that it's genetic. But the reason is not laziness, it's more trying to fit in as much as possible into a small time frame. For my family, there really aren't enough hours in the day, although one could also probably say that we just have poor time management. But it's genetic! I'm telling you this right now, there is a very good chance we will all be late to my wedding. We were, afterall, late to Meamaw's funeral (it's how she would have wanted it, we went to her favorite thrift store that morning). My Aunt Cheri was so late to my Uncle Tim's wedding that she never even made it. You see what I'm saying...

So how does this fit in with dress finding? Let me tell you a little story about my senior prom dress. I'd love to upload a pic of it, because it turned out beautifully, but I'm at work and don't have one here. My mom made my dress. I picked out the pattern, we picked out the fabric, she measured me, and got to work... eventually. I can't pick on her too much because the lateness gene also applies to starting projects later than anticipated because of other projects that started later than anticipated, and so on and so forth. Also, yes, it is hard work and my mom works full-time, and sometimes very, very late. But, alas, the end of the story has me, in tears, hair done, half an hour late for prom pictures, waiting for her to finish my dress.

PLEASE let her find a dress by July, or I may force her to wear something like this.

Mom, I realize you may be reading this right now, laid up at home after knee surgery and all, and I hope you know I'm not trying to be mean. I also realize that you probably won't be able to find the comment button so no one will ever be able to see you defend yourself (muwahaha). But please, for the love of god, don't still be looking for, or making, your dress this August. I WILL force you to buy something, or, alternately, you may be the first MOB, nudists excluded, to wear her birthday suit to her daughter's wedding. :)

-C
xxx