Friday, August 26, 2011

SMBHD - Asks Ridiculous Questions

My BH asks me questions he knows I don't know the answer to. I often feel like we're on a sitcom when he does this. Two examples. 1) "Where's the bathroom?" in a restaurant/bar he knows I've never been to. 2) We'll plan something for 2 weeks from now and he's like "What's the weather going to be like that night?" Do I look like a weather girl? Also, it's not like I always claim to know what the weather is or anything. I typically don't check the weather at all in the summer, I just assume it'll be nice (lol). I pretty much only check the weather in the winter to find out if it's going to snow anytime soon, or the weather of somewhere I'm traveling to, so I know what to pack.

My BH asks me U.S. geography questions. I swear I feel like I get a pop quiz once a week. Shoot - I bet ya'll didn't know this, but I was in the Geography Club when I was younger. And I am PROUD of that. It was FUN. No, seriously, it was. We played "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" and quiz games and went on cool field trips and - the best part - McDonald's on the way home from said field trips. But I digress... my point is, it's not like I don't know where the states are. I know the general area of where they all are, but he needs to know specifics. Like what states are to the left and right. Sure, some people know this stuff. Maybe people who have been to states like Nebraska or even lived in a state near it. Me? I've lived on the East Coast my whole life and haven't visited all of the states. If you put a map in front of me with state names missing, I could fill it in. I can sing a song by heart that names all 50 states in alphabetical order. Yes, I feel the need to defend my geographical knowledge. It just so happens that most of the time my BH will ask me about a Midwestern state. So when he asks where a state is, my answer is usually "the Midwest", and he's gotten tired of that. What I think he doesn't understand is that the Midwest consists of like 45 states. Ok, 30. Ok, 15. Whatever. And my pop quiz usually doesn't end once I've told him the general area it's in. Bonus questions include: bordering states, cities, and large bodies of water. How many cities can you name in Nebraska or Idaho? Omaha and Boise is all I've got off the top of my head. Ok fine, if you know more than that, good for you... but do you know the capital of Vermont? MONTPELIER. Boom. Betchu didn't know that one, smartypants. I need to get this boy a pocket map so I can stop feeling like I'm back in 3rd grade geography class memorizing state capitals... and so I can stop feeling the need to defend my geographical smarts. I WAS IN GEOGRAPHY CLUB <--- only defense I need.

My BH asks me stupid questions. I'm not calling him stupid, just his questions. I honestly don't know why he asks them. Believe me, I call him out to his face when he does this, but the only response I ever get is a fake pout. I'm starting to think the questions are just a reflex?? Whatever's behind it, there are only so many times I can hear "Are you getting gas?" we're pulling into a gas station or "Are you turning off the air conditioner?" I'm turning off the air conditioner.

My BH asks me where I'm going. Sounds normal, right? Sure, if I was actually leaving the house. I most often hear "Where you going?" when I climb out of bed at 4 in the morning. I bet you all know where I'm going, but apparently he doesn't and he thinks I'm going for an early morning stroll or just getting up early because I feel like getting a jump on the day or leaving him or something. None of which would ever happen at 4am (you all should know that as well). I don't do mornings, and it kills me to even get out of bed to go to the bathroom that early, but I drink a lot of water and you gotta do what you gotta do.

My BH asks me constant questions concerning food. We've already gone over this, but I can't stress enough how often he asks about food. The other night I told him I had volleyball the next night. His first response was, "What am I going to eat for dinner??" not "Congratulations on your playoff win!" or "Good luck!"

I can't even describe the looks I give him when he asks me these questions, but if you know me well enough, you probably know these looks. Usually it's of the "Are you freaking kidding me??" variety.


No comments:

Post a Comment