Friday, September 30, 2011

SMBHD - Uses Wayyy Too Much Body Wash

Maybe this is another "all men do it" kind of thing, I don’t know. Probably. But still - it AMAZES me how much body wash my BH goes through. I swear he uses like a bottle a week. And he wonders why I buy like 6 bottles when it's on sale and have a coupon! (I was recently put on a body wash buying freeze - but that should end in a couple weeks at his rate of usage.) To his credit, he doesn't care what body wash I get for him, but he does like Axe when I tell him he can get it because it's on sale. But still - he uses an unnecessary amount of it.

I have this theory that using a body poof extends the life of your body wash. I seriously use a bottle of body wash like once every couple months. That's a lie. I actually have NO IDEA when I last purchased body wash for me, but I know it takes me forever to get through a bottle, because a little bit goes a long way! Putting it on the poof makes it suds (?) up instead of just dumping a bunch in your hand and spreading it all over your body. Scientific proof that my theory is correct.

So I told him my theory and tried telling him he should use one of those manly body poofs like what Axe sells:

The "Axe Detailer". Much manlier than my poof.
via Google Image Search

But he scoffed and "psshhed" and gave me side eye like I was some crazy woman. Note to YOU - he did the same thing when I told him he should do yoga, and now he goes 3 times a week because someone else told him he should, but that's a story for another day. Anyway. I tried to tell him he should get a manly body poof because he would use less body wash that way. But, just like with yoga, he wants nothing to do with it because I suggested it and apparently I'm crazy and know nothing about anything.

So what needs to happen here is one of two things:
1 - Someone other than me needs to tell him how great body poofs are and that he should get one. Then he'll come running back to me telling me what a great idea this person had and I'll smack him and remind him that it was my idea first and he won't remember because apparently he blocks out my great ideas until someone else tells him about them.
2 - MOB or MIL - you need to throw one in his stocking for Christmas.

If I get it for him he'll make me return it and get all, "Cynthia, why did you buy me this stupid thing. I'm not using it." (read that in a British accent for the full effect)

While we're on the topic of body wash (who knew I'd have so much to say about body wash??), I hate that men's body wash companies feel the need to make it in ridiculous colors like electric blue and blood red. Every now and then, I guess when BH is in a rush, I'll be like, "Why was he bleeding on the shower curtain? Oh wait, that's just body wash." They also make men's body wash SO THICK that it's not just the color, but the consistency that throws me off. The electric blue… ok, yeah, it's not like I think that's anything other than what it is, but I still don't like it when it coats my shower wall. I guess their purpose is so that men can see it and make sure they wash it all off before they get out of the shower? Maybe?? Although I'm not sure how it can be that hard…


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