Friday, September 2, 2011

SMBHD - Can't Find a Damn Thing

My BH seriously can't find anything. He decides within 5 seconds of looking that he's not going to find it and I'm pretty sure he's convinced I know where things are and am hiding them from him or telling him wrong places to look on purpose. The truth is he just WILL NOT look for things. He looks only in the one spot I tell him it might be.

I have it on good authority that this is genetic and my FIL is the same way... and by good authority I mean that my MIL told me a story the other day and asked me to add "SMBHDD" (Sh*t My British Husband's Dad Does) and then proceeded to tell me this story:

FIL, beer in hand, was looking for bottle opener in a kitchen drawer. Says he can't find it, in a huff I'm sure (only because I know the look, the heavy sigh, the overexaggerrated (sorry Peter) frustration well from my BH). MIL can see the bottle opener on the counter, tells him, "It's right there." He opens a second drawer (for some reason). Frustratedly says he still can't find it. Fully expecting her to get up and get it. I know this because it's EXACTLY what my BH does.

When she told me this story I had already shared my woes of how Tim couldn't find anything if his life depended on it, unless I told him the exact spot it was in. She said I should do a blog on it. I was confused. I thought I already had?? Nope, it was still in my drafts folder, waiting for a rainy day. You'd be surprised how many SMBHD drafts there are... :)

Now onto my examples:
He asks if we have any aspirin. There are two places we keep medicine in our house - a bin in the bathroom and a bigger bin in the upstairs hall closet. If I were looking for something, I would go check both, rooting around until I found it. He will ask me where it is first, which means I have to guess which box it's in. It's a pretty big gamble because I know if it's not in the first place, he won't go look in the second... or even if it is in the first place, if it's not right on top, he doesn't dig any deeper. He will return to me, say, "It's not there." and want me to go look for it. So I chance it and say the bathroom bin. I sit there, fingers crossed, counting the seconds until he comes back, hoping that maybe just this once I won't have to walk upstairs to look in the same place he just did... Lo and behold, about 30 seconds later he comes back, gives an exasperated sigh, like he'd been looking for AGES, and says the four words I dread the most... "I can't find it." I've tried shrugging it off, like, "Oh well, I guess it's not there then", but he'll usually just stand there staring at me until I get up and find it for him.

Also, I'd say about 90 percent of the time, it's in the exact area I told him to look.

I have also on several occasions asked him to get something out of the pantry for me. Sometimes I do it to try to teach him how to look for things, I'm not gonna lie. That doesn't involve him going up and down stairs to tell me where he's looked and not found things, so it takes him longer to get frustrated. Lol. So far it hasn't worked very well... because if it's not on the exact shelf I tell him it's on, he will not look one shelf up or one shelf down. I don't get it! Why, god, why!

BTW, I do inform him of the fact that I am trying to teach him to look for things, which you would think would make him try a little harder?? Nope.


Or, at least, British Husbands. :)


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