Friday, October 28, 2011

SMBHD - Loves Me (How Dare He!)

My BH has two new habits, with one common theme - showing affection.

I know, I know. HORRENDOUS.

The problem isn't the affection, it's when he does it. Hmm... at what time of day could my BH possibly do something that would produce maximum annoyance? Hmm...

That's right, the morning. I don't do mornings.

New habit #1 - Every night, he gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I don't ask him where he's going (ok, sometimes I do, just to get back at him). He knows that when he gets back in the room and shuts the door, odds are I'm going to hear it and at least be semi-awake because of it. (The lock on our door is a deadbolt... louder than the average lock - also, yes, we lock our bedroom door. No, we don't really have a valid reason for doing so.) So when he climbs back into bed at 4am he says, "Babe" until I grunt in response, and then says, "I love you."

New habit #2 - My BH gets up before I do in the morning, which leaves me as an innocent, unsuspecting, peacefully-sleeping victim. He used to do horrible things like poke me or say things loudly to wake me up. Not nice, I know. His new thing is kissing me. I woke up the other morning to 8,000 kisses on my face. He.would.not.stop. I use the term "woke up" loosely, as well, because when he does things like this it's usually before my actual "wake up time" and I refuse to actually get out of bed until I have to, so he "wakes" me up and I then have to roll over and kick him so he leaves me alone for another 15 minutes.

Me, sleeping peacefully.
via google image search

I know it sounds ridiculous to complain about these things, but trust me when I tell you that he does them with the sole intent to annoy. His life's mission is to annoy me at every turn. He'll admit that by saying, "That's not true." with a devilish grin on his face. (Obviously true.)

Listen, I know there are worse things he could do, like say, "I hate you" in the middle of the night, or slap me awake in the morning. I think he does it this way so that I sound stupid complaining that my BH kisses me and tells me he loves me.

I guess he's got me there. Damn!


1 comment:

  1. Only people that know you and your issues w/ affection will understand and laugh at this post. I think it's hilarious. And that you deserve the annoyance. Miss you. xoxo