Discussion - Holiday Weddings

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Sorry for giving away your wedding dress before the big day, Bonnie...

My friend Bonnie is getting married on Memorial Day Weekend. I don't mind. It actually gives me an extra day to travel since it's a national holiday.

My friend Lela got married 4th of July weekend. Same thing. Didn't mind. Extra travel time. Plus, she's Canadian so she can get away with getting married on America's Independence Day. Lol.

I bring it up because there are some people that just aren't cool with it. I don't know whether I feel one way or the other about it, to be honest. "It" being getting married on a national holiday or holiday weekend. Some people do the same thing every year on certain days. For example, my family has our family reunion every year on the 4th of July weekend. I don't go every year, but some in my family do, and it may be a hard decision for them to make if they knew someone getting married that weekend. Personally, I guess I've realized that I don't really do the same thing on holidays every year, so I haven't had the experience of making a decision like that. (If I get invited to a wedding on Christmas, I may need to revisit this topic.)

Do I think people should take holidays into consideration when planning their wedding? Absolutely. I would certainly advise people to take into consideration that some people do have annual plans, and some people make holiday vacation plans well in advance as well. If the bride and groom decide to have it on a holiday weekend, that's their prerogative. They may have less people come because of it, or, depending on where it is, they may even have more people come because of it! The flip side is that some people think of it as having an extra day to travel, or an opportunity to make a vacation out of it.

Like I said, not really taking sides, just a topic that seems to come up from time to time. Would you have your wedding on a holiday weekend? Would you not go to a friend's if it was on a holiday weekend?

I don't think I shared with you guys my holiday planning story yet. I planned my wedding on Yom Kippur. One of the, if not THE, most important Jewish holidays. Yeah. I have some Jewish friends... but the main issue was that my boss, the woman we asked to get officiated and actually marry us, is Jewish. So yeah. And of course she's the one who discovered it. She actually said, "You didn't plan your wedding on Yom Kippur or anything, right?" That was a major facepalm. Maybe even facedesk or facewall. I plan events and programs at work, and know to always check a couple calendars - a regular calendar for any major holidays, the firm's calendar for conflicts, and the JEWISH HOLIDAY CALENDAR. So, yeah, needless to say, I should have known better. It all worked out in the end - we had rehearsal the night before prior to sunset, and the wedding started at sunset the next day (Yom Kippur goes from sunset to sunset), but still. All could have been avoided if I had just checked a damn calendar. That's right, I didn't even check a regular calendar, which also would have had Yom Kippur on it. I was like "Yay! September 18th! Nothing happens that day!"

Anyway, my point is if you're planning a wedding (or anything really), just check a calendar. If you want to have a holiday wedding then do it, but know that some people may not be able to come, and some may not be happy about it but will come. And, most importantly, if you want to have someone officiate at your wedding, make sure there's not a super important holiday in their religion on that day.


-C
xxx

Tip O' The Week - Tipping!

No, not cows. Vendors. No, not physically. Monetarily. (I know, I'm hilarious.)

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I did a lot of research on a lot of things during my wedding planning, one thing I'll bring up for you today is vendor tipping. Some say tipping isn't necessary. I think it is. But that may be because I worked in the service industry in college (read: waitress), and I know how it feels to not get tipped. I also know how good it feels to get tipped! Needless to say, I always tip bartenders, waitresses, etc. But when it came to figuring out what to do for wedding vendors, I definitely needed to do some research. I read some forums, googled and saw what other people did, and I think I came up with a pretty good solution. You tip those that don't own their own business. Those that simply work for the business typically get paid less than those that do own that business. Those that own the business set the prices and do so by figuring out how much profit will be made versus how much they spend to provide the service. For example, our videographer. He owns the business, so obviously he gets all that money. Yes, I know that he uses it to produce the final product and pay for his equipment and all, but if it were anyone other than him doing the videoing, they would get less of that profit. Therefore, the owner gets the price they laid out, but the worker (non owner) should receive a tip (unless they sucked at whatever service they provided). Same goes for delivery people (if you have to rent things like a tent, port-a-potties, tables, etc., like I did). I gave delivery people $5-$10 per person depending on what they had to set up (I had 3 rental companies).

Hope this helps someone out there! And I also hope it doesn't offend any vendors. I think it's pretty fair, no? I mean, if you want to tip everyone, go ahead, but that's your call!

-C
xxx

U + Me = Us

I know my calculus.

Come on, you know you remember that song! Ok, if not, or if you lived in a hole for a year (ok, or if you were born before 1980 or after 1998), here's a little treat:



Who knew so much math was involved in wedding planning? I mean, sure, there's the budget (which is a major part, don't get me wrong), but if you're like me and planning an outside wedding where you have to rent everything A - there's all sorts of rental prices to compare, sizes to compare, etc. and B - square footage. What?! I have to calculate the square footage of not just the tent, but the tables inside as well as the dance floor? And I have to figure out how much "space" each person needs?? This is probably one time I wish everyone I knew was a close talker and didn't need much space :) BUT, alas, you have to account for like a foot and a half of the chair itself, plus at least 3 feet behind that chair, plus like an additional 3 feet between tables, plus I need to calculate how much room each person will need to dance? But some people flail their arms and need more space than others! And I have to guesstimate how many people will want to dance? Oy.

And we've already discussed not being able to accurately estimate how many people will attend your wedding. Yet another impossible equation to solve.

Right, and my trying to map out how to hang the lights in the tent? Not that I did the calculations, but I'm pretty sure (Bridesmaid Lela's husband) Brad did! And my Uncle Randy definitely tried to calculate the weight of the lanterns + lights, height of the poles, etc. without even being there.



So here's a heads-up to brides-to-be and someday-brides-to-be: remember how we all were like "We'll never have to use Calculus in the real world!"

False.

That is all.

-C
xxx

Tip 'O The Week - You Can Never Plan Enough For...

via Wedding Photojournalist Association

Rain. I suppose it's mostly in regards to outdoor weddings, but even indoor weddings need to have some special rain considerations. Like how the bride will get from the car to the inside of the church/venue/wherever, if they'll do cutsey umbrella pics with the wedding party or keep it inside. Ok so yeah it's MAJORLY geared towards outdoor weddings that need to be prepared, but I was one of those weddings so I have to tell you it's crazy important.

"But rain is good luck on your wedding day!" Whatever. Doesn't mean I want it! Lol

I knew from day 1 I'd need a tent. If I didn't rent a tent, it would torrential downpour. I have terrible luck, so trust me on this, it would have happened. The tent can only do so much, though. I mean, they errect it a few days in advance, which is great because that will keep the ground dry(-ish) underneath the tent if it is raining. If it starts to POUR though, there's not going to be much you can do unless you want to rent a floor for the entire tent. And even then there will be wet feet stepping onto the floor creating a mess and potential slipping hazards. Plus, it costs big $$$ to rent a floor for the entire tent AND it's not really an outdoor wedding if you make it seem too much like the indoors is it?? You really can't plan enough for rain. No matter what you do, if it rains, something will get wet and mud will be present. It's really hard when you plan everything for a year (or more) and the one thing you can't control decides to happen.

I have to admit that there are tons of cute wedding pics out there with the bride in rainboots and the bridal party under umbrellas and fun stuff like that. I am all FOR making light of the situation.

via Elizabeth Anne Designs

We had a tent for the reception and reserved a back up smaller tent for the ceremony just in case we needed it. Luckily, we could do that because we worked with a small company and they told us we didn't need to officially reserve the back up one because they'd have plenty on hand. So that was helpful since we didn't have to actually pay for it. One thing I didn't think about? A tent for the rehearsal dinner or brunch. Those were also to be held in MOB's back yard. I don't know why I thought it just wouldn't rain on either of those days? See, if it weren't so costly to reserve a tent (I'm pretty sure the company would have drawn a line if I tried to rent multiple tents without deposits), I probably would have, but when you have to put down a decent amount of a deposit when you rent such a big ticket item, it makes you think harder about these things. Like is the rehearsal dinner/brunch really that important to me? Or can we easily have a contingency plan for that? My personal view was that I was fine with whatever contingency plan had to happen, even if it was something we had to come up with last minute. For the wedding? Not so much. I wanted it in the backyard, and if I had to have a tent to do it, I was getting one.

When the 10 day weather report finally included my date I wasn't too shocked. Unhappy? Yes. Shocked? No. It said "showers" (60% chance precipitation) for the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner and "scattered showers" for the big day. Yup, just my luck. Yes, I did rent a tent, but was I still hoping it would be a beautiful sunny warm day? Of course! What bride wouldn't wish for that?!

So what happened to me?

The 10 day weather report watch was in full effect right up to the wedding day, and every day the percentage chance of precipitation went down! The night of the rehearsal dinner it was chilly. Like, borderline cold. There were only a few troopers who stayed outside and enjoyed the karaoke and beer pong. The rest huddled in our (totally unprepared) family room. The big day? I'm so happy to report that although it was a bit chilly, it was a beautiful, rainless day. The evening was warmer than the night before, although some said they were cold, I wasn't in the least. I think we kind of had perfect weather, though. It could have been swealtering! Or raining! But neither were the case, gladly. Oh, and the weather was even NICER on Sunday for the brunch. Gorgeous and sunny. I got lucky (for once).

Your day could be beautiful as well, but you should definitely still plan for rain. I say if you're having an outdoor wedding, get a tent. You may not be able to see the stars from your dinner table, but you can still feel the grass beneath your feet (and if you step outside the tent you can see the stars)! Plus if you get tent walls it keeps the chill out.

-C
xxx

Tip 'O The Week - Wedding Fund

Here's my tip to you, my friends: SET UP A SEPARATE ACCOUNT FOR ALL WEDDING MONIES.

Do it.

Seriously.

Who am I to tell you to do this? I am the person who is right now trying to figure out how much to reimburse myself for for everything I ever purchased for the wedding. Like, it's a damn good thing I save all my receipts. Basically I took it upon myself to pay for everything for the wedding out of my pocket, while keeping our contributions (and family contributions) in a savings account until I absolutely had to pay myself back for things. I wanted it to gain interest! I had good intentions, and had no idea how difficult it would be to figure it all out. So at the moment I am calculating up all my wedding-related receipts for the past year, going through credit card statements to see what I paid for on there, adding up checks I wrote to vendors... and totally second-guessing myself through the entire process. It's stupid because basically I could screw myself over if I don't pay myself back for something big, you know? I tried to keep track of the things I've already reimbursed myself for, but, again, I keep second-guessing myself. I'll figure it all out eventually, but this is not really a fun process, not gonna lie. So take a tip from my mistake! Put all your wedding funds into a separate account, and write checks and make payments from that account only. It will make your life soooo sooo much easier.

-C
xxx

Recap Time: Rehearsal Dinner Part II

Ok now for just a couple details from the night. First of all, I guess I should mention that all of the weekend's festivities (rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, brunch) were held in my mom's backyard. We rented banquet tables and chairs for the wedding, which arrived on Thursday (score), so we set those up around the pool with green and white tablecloths, and white lanterns graciously loaned to me by a friend of a friend (I got SO many compliments on them - and they weren't even mine!). I wanted to do some cute decorations for the RD, but just ran out of time (reoccuring theme of the weekend). The tablecloths, lanterns, and christmas lights worked well with the beauty of nature (and the pool) in the backyard, though, so we were all set.

Loved these tablecloths! Yes, they're plastic, but they're also kelly green and white. And awesome. And $1.99 from our party rental store, Party Planet. We put them on the banquet tables for the RD and on some of the tables for the wedding itself. (Don't worry, they weren't on the dinner tables at the wedding!)

This is what the lanterns looked like (the white ones). These are from Target, but for some reason I think she got them from Ikea? Either way, they were damn cute.

Sorry, like I said, I haven't seen many rehearsal dinner pics yet! I'll have to do an update when I get some. Here is a pic of the tables and our back deck during the RD.

We actually dubbed it a rehearsal bbq so that it was as casual as could be. Bridesmaid Ryann's boyfriend Jason grilled for us (thanks again Jason!), and there were beers to be had. I'm pretty sure it was less than an hour into the evening when Tim's best man came up to me and asked if I was opposed to them starting up a game of beer pong. Nope! The only thing I said was maybe they should wait until after food. So impromptu beer pong took place at my rehearsal dinner, and people loved it. Did you catch the part that it wasn't even one of the American men who suggested it? It was a Brit? Am I the only one who finds it that much funnier because of that?? Oh well.


Karaoke was planned, actually. MOB had this karaoke machine for forever that she'd never used so I decided to use it! My pampie, the karaoke master, loaned us some of his cds for the occasion.

Only picture I've seen so far of me in my rehearsal dinner dress, prior to adding the hoodie. I think I was mid speech! Yikes.

The only thing I wish we could have changed? The weather! I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so grateful it didn't rain, but it was so cold that just about everyone (except us few tough guys) ended up going inside - which was not supposed to happen! I was pretty scared that it was going to be just as cold the next night at the wedding...

-C
xxx

Recap Time: Rehearsal Dinner Part I

I guess as most probably are, our rehearsal dinner was less rehearsal and more dinner. Truth be told, it was actually more karaoke and beer pong. That's right, there was beer pong at our rehearsal dinner, and it was impromptu.

Firstly I need to admit I broke a cardinal rule when planning any event you actually want people to attend - I didn't check a real calendar before picking a date. Long story short, we knew we were going to get married in September for work and visa reasons. Plus it's a pretty awesome month, weather wise (so many people I told we were getting married in September said what a great month it was to get married!). I opted to not go the "wedding on a holiday weekend route" (not because I don't agree with it, and not because I do, just wanted to avoid the issue altogether), so skipped labor day, didn't particularly want to get married on September 11th, so the 18th it was. I think the only "calendar" I looked at to pick the 18th was on my cell phone, hence no holidays or observances were looked at. May-ja mistake on my part.

Why is this relevant to the rehearsal dinner recap? Well, Tim and I had decided we wanted to ask my friend and boss, now called Minister Mol, to officiate at our wedding. I looked up all the information to make sure it was legal and all to get someone ordained on the internet to perform your ceremony in NJ (it is), had all the information ready to give her for it, and one day (before asking her) she just comes out and says "You didn't book your wedding on, like, a Jewish holiday or anything did you?" My jaw must've fallen to the floor. That's right folks, I just so happened to pick our wedding date on not just any Jewish holiday, but the biggest Jewish holiday - Yom Kippur. For those who don't know, there tend to be varying degrees of observance for Jewish holidays. Basically some people take the "rules" more seriously than others. Our officiant just so happens to fall under the "very jewish" category - so from sundown Friday (rehearsal dinner) to sundown Saturday (wedding) she was not supposed to drive, eat, drink, handle money... you get the picture.

So we had to have everyone get together and rehearse by sundown Friday - oh and did I mention due to travel issues and such , the groomsmen weren't able to get there until after 6, like maybe even closer to 6:30-6:45? Sundown was at 7 by the way. Needless to say, we ended up rehearsing for like 5 minutes right around 7. And it was a bit of a jumbled up mess. Honestly, I wasn't worried or bothered by it, though. It was a mess, that's for sure, but, I mean, I got married in my mom's backyard. There's no need for anything to be too formal. I'm so glad I did get married there because order and perfection were not necessary and, truth be told, the more giggles and less order there was seemed to make it more comfortable, charming, and casual. At least that's what I think! We all made it down the aisle in one piece, that's all that matters!

I have yet to see any pictures from the rehearsal, and there are very few from the rehearsal dinner as a whole (I have a sneaking suspicion Bridesmaid Lela's husband has some, but they're kind of a little bit busy right now!), so I apologize for the lack of visual stimulation in this post.

To be continued...

-C

xxx

Tip 'O The Week - You CAN Do It All By Yourself

via Google Images

But you probably shouldn't. Take all the help you can get. Don't be ashamed to ASK* for it, and don't be ashamed to TAKE it should it be offered. I have always been one for doing things on my own, especially when it comes to money. I hate taking "handouts" (if you will), so I'll admit that at first it was hard for me to take free help and services from friends and family. Then I realized, shoot, this isn't a handout. This is an offer, a gift, a present, and people actually might even be OFFENDED if I don't take it (I am not saying you have to take all offers. I realize some you may not want!). And most would be honored if you asked them to help, knowing they'd have a little role in making your wedding so perfect! Then I started to realize that having help offered to you wasn't a bad thing. At all. I also had Bridesmaid Amanda's wedding before mine so realized, basically, that that's what friends are for!

Shoot - would you rather pay for a ridiculously expensive cake, or have a family friend (WITH EXPERIENCE) do it for you when she offers? I chose door #2! And I loved my cake. Loved. Wouldn't have changed anything about it. Oh, and did I mention I basically just designed it myself and she made it happen? Even better!

(It could have been multiple layers, but we had homemade mini cheesecakes for everyone else for dessert so we opted for just one simple layer for our wedding cake.)

Besides lowering your stress level as a bride, it can also change the feel of the wedding. It's more of a - "Wow, all of my friends came together and did this FOR ME," bursting with pride sort of feel. It also makes you realize how loved you are and how good of friends you have. And, yeah, it also saves $$$. Just be prepared to pay it forward! I'm totally ready for that part. Like, itching out of my skin ready. I've said it before, I'll say it again - I love this sh1t.

-C

xxx

*Just a disclaimer - I'm talking about asking for reasonable things. Like, "Hey, friend, I know you have mad calligraphy skills. How would you feel about callig-ing my invitation envelopes for me as a wedding gift?"

A Nontip For You

Today's tip concerns the guestlist/RSVPs.

Here's a really great tip: No matter what you do, how hard you plan, how many wedding blogs/books/magazines you read, nothing's an exact science and you can't plan for the unplannable. Yeah, that's what I call a nontip. Just a heads up really. Lol. Yes, this can encompass many things involved in the planning process, but more specifically I'm talking about trying to guesstimate how many people will be at your wedding.

For example, "they" say you should expect 30% of the amount of people you invite will not be there. So when estimating size for a venue, costs for catering, amount of alcohol to purchase, how many favors you'll need, how many place settings you'll need, etc., you should take 30% of your total invited amount and just expect them not to be there. I mean, it is a good estimate, but nothing's really going to be exact. Shoot, it might not even be close! In my case, I had a whopping 57% not come! Yeah, that's a lot. I originally invited 160 people, and had 86 coming within the final week... then 5 dropped out in the week before... then 5 dropped out the DAY before. Then 6 people just didn't show. That's right, just.didn't.show. To quote Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" It's a good thing we didn't pay per plate. It's also a good thing I love to freeze leftovers, although that doesn't help the extra plates and glasses I had to rent. Tip: Please make sure to let people know within a decent amount of time that you can't come. I could've cut down my catering and rental costs by a lot if I knew how many people would drop out at the last minute.

Oh right, then there were 4 people I made HANDMADE invites for and NEVER heard from. Like what the hell? Again - how rude! Tip: If you can't make it to someone's wedding, TELL THEM! Trust me, if they're upset that you can't come it'll be MUCH less upset (or pissed off!) than they'll be if you just don't respond. You'll never truly understand the importance of RSVPs, or how much it will piss you off when someone doesn't RSVP, until you plan a wedding. So if you're not married yet, trust me on this one.

This will also really gnaw at you when you start to realize that you could have invited those people you initially left off the guestlist because it was getting out of hand. If I would have known that certain people wouldn't have the courtesy to even RSVP (or RSVP and then not show up), then I wouldn't have invited them in the first place. Oh, btw, did I mention it was initially 14 people, but I had to basically stalk THEM for MY wedding, and out of those 14 I never got a response from 4, yeah.

Oops. This kind of turned into a rant. Sorry! But maybe it's a rant that will prepare another bride that such things could happen... and therefore still a tip. :)

-C
xxx

Tip 'o The Day - Booze

I knew three things from the get-go in regards to booze for our wedding: I wanted to spend as little as possible, while making it not look like it, and have good beer. I'm pretty sure all 3 were accomplished, even if it didn't go according to plan. Good beer was important to me, because I will admit I'm a beer snob. If I even look at Bud, Coors, or Miller Light I get a headache. So even if it was for a selfish purpose, the rest of our guests benefitted from it! Lol.

We got kegs instead of bottles, had wine in a box, and made sangria from wine in a box as well. I got a ton of sangria recipes from people, but when it got down to crunchtime, our "Serendipity Sangria" had very few ingredients (and we got TONS of compliments on it): lemon lime soda, box-o-white wine (Franzia's Refreshing White), and green fruit! We used pears, apples and grapes. Even MOB liked it, and she doesn't really even drink! I had big plans of putting all the boxed wine into these glass drink dispensers we purchased so that no one would know it was boxed, but we ran out of time and that didn't happen. I also had an arrangement with the caterer that one of his people would "bartend" and pour beer from the kegs and wine from the boxes. You know what? That didn't happen either, and not one of our guests cared that they had to pour their own drinks, or that they came from kegs/boxes. So note to you all out there: it is possible to spend just a little over $300 on alcohol for your wedding, while still pleasing your guests as well as yourself.

If anyone is wondering, as I know I was stressing over calculating it all, we estimated that we would have about 80 people at the wedding, bought 2 boxes red, 4 boxes white (2 were for sangria), and had 4- 1/4 kegs of beer. It was the perfect amount. We ended up having a few less people (another post, another day...), and had an almost full keg of bud light (I guess because the rest of the beer was better), but I'm glad we got what we did because we didn't run out and everyone got enough. Score!

-C
xxx

Tip 'o The Day - Spend The Bucks On...

1 - an awesome photographer(s). I know this tip is all over the wedding world, but can't hurt to mention again! I haven't gotten our proofs back yet from ours (um we were only married on Saturday), but I know they're going to be sick. We saw some of the pics on the camera and they were freaking awesome. Not to mention, Julie and Gary (Hughes Fioretti Photography) were just a joy to work with. That can mean so much! They are fun people with tons of energy and creative ideas, which makes me totally confident that the big bucks spent on their services and travel was toootally worth it. I mean, come on, they even did a ring shot on gummi frogs. How perfect is that?? So trust me, these are your memories from your big day, do you really want to skimp on those??

2 - Your dress. Sure, if you can get your dream dress for a dream price, by all means do it! But don't buy 2 other cheap dresses that you only kind of like (um, like me) and then find your dream dress. Wait til you find the one. Do you know how hard it is to sell those other dresses?

PS anyone need a cheap wedding dress?? I've got 2 to sell! :)

-C
xxx

Tip 'o The Day - Totally DIY Wedding

*While on my honeymoon I thought I'd share a few tips I learned during the wedding planning process. Recaps coming soon!*

Not gonna lie, our wedding was pretty freaking awesome. However, I'm here today to tell you that having a completely DIY wedding takes a LOT more work than you think. I'm not talking doing decorative projects for your venue. That's a lot of work, yes, but doable. DIY backyard wedding, where you are the coordinator (and since you're the bride as well, unable to be coordinator all the time), and it's your own backyard. I'm not trying to talk anyone out of it, because I wouldn't have done it any other way, but word to the wise - it's a LOT of work, and if you don't have awesome friends like I do, you're going to have a really hard time with it. I would recommend a day of coordinator to anyone and everyone... except myself. I know that's contradictory, but I know that as stressful as my wedding day was (and days leading up to it), I ENJOYED it immensely. But that's just me. That's because I LOVE this stuff. Executing an event and paying attention to all the tiny details is what I do well. It's what I love. It's my thang, if you will. But for anyone else for whom it's not, get a coordinator. You won't regret being able to relax on your wedding day. I went for hair and nails, but couldn't relax because all I wanted to do was be back at the house doing things with everyone. I was told over and over that night how wonderful everything was, and I truly do think it was great, but there were things that didn't get done because I wasn't there to do them and no one else knew they were to be done! I can't thank all of my helpers enough. I wouldn't have been able to make my vision happen if it wasn't for them. Just wait til I show you pictures of everything they did! I have awesome, amazing friends. Anyhoo, that's my tip 'o the day.

-C
xxx