Interesting Issue Involving Gifts

So... there's no way to pussy-foot around this, but I feel like sharing with you guys and asking for some advice. We had guests at our wedding (family friends) give us a check as a wedding gift... that bounced. So we had to pay the check return fee ($25). The guests in question acknowledged what happened, seemed completely embarrassed, then asked multiple times for our mailing address, got it, and then... nothing. Yup, nothing. So basically we paid them for our wedding gift, since we had to pay the returned check fee.

Now, I am well aware that the rule is that no one is obligated to get you a wedding gift, nor would I ever ever complain on a blog that someone didn't get us a gift. That's not what this is about. This would be an issue whether it was a wedding, birthday, Christmas, etc. gift. Basically we're paying for our own gift... no?

Just as a side note, obviously it's no one who reads this blog. Before you go checking your bank accounts to make sure it wasn't you, lol. I'm not that mean! I'm just wondering... how do I approach this? It's someone I haven't seen in person for quite some time, but do not have a phone/email sort of relationship with so will need to discuss this with them in person, assuming I say anything at all. How do I approach this?? We sent out holiday card/thank you card combos over the holidays, and I sent one to them thanking them for a photo frame they also got us, hoping that the omission of thanking for the check would make them realize they forgot to send the replacement check... nope. We just got a Christmas card back.

Thoughts?

-C
xxx

My Heart Hurts

Today we bury Grandude. We had to wait 2 weeks because the veterans cemetery must have a lot of veterans to bury right now (sad).

I keep trying to tell myself he's back with Meamaw and happy, therefore we shouldn't be sad. His funeral was on Valentine's Day and we sent him to her with a card, a rose, and my favorite picture of them (not this one, not even sure we have a copy of that picture).

at Meamaw's prom

I think I'm in a state of denial now, really. I feel like I just went for a normal visit and when I see pictures of him around my house, I smile thinking about how goofy and wonderful he is...

...but then I remember that he's gone and my heart hurts all over again.

*sigh*

Ok, this is the last post I'm allowing myself to wallow in. Promise.

-C
xxx

Laser Time

I went in for laser hair removal on Monday, and I thought it might be a good idea to share my experience with others. Especially since my experience was the ANTI of everything I read before going.

Here's a basic rundown on the information I found before going:
- Don't shave before you go, the longer you let the hair grow, the better.
- The pain feels like a rubber band slapping against your skin, so take Aleve (or whatever you prefer) an hour before going.
- Don't go somewhere that offers a discount. Good places don't need to offer discounts.
- This is a medical procedure. Make sure the place you go has a licensed doctor (aesthetician).
- Laser hair removal treatments can cost hundreds of dollars for each session (recommended 6 sessions).
- Due to the cycle of hair growth, sessions should be 4-6 weeks apart.

Here's what happened at my appointment:
- I was handed a razor because I hadn't shaved.
- I felt nothing. Seriously. Not a thing.
- I purchased a LivingSocial deal for this place.
- She had several licenses in frames around the office.
- My LivingSocial deal was $99 for 6 treatments. $99 total. I added on a small area treatment for $40 a session.
- I was told my appointments HAD to be 4 weeks apart, no more, no less.

So... was I duped or did I have the best laser hair removal experience of all time?

Here's the story (and no, I don't know the answer to that question yet):

I was strangely not nervous about going to get laser hair removal. I knew you were supposed to be a bit nervous and check out a ton of places before deciding on "the one", so I think I even tried to scare myself a bit by doing some google searches of what to know before you go. I found the above information, and while I was slightly skeptical about why this place cost so little, I wasn't running for the hills and canceling my appointment. So, I'm driving down the street this place is supposed to be on and, well, it's all residential. Weird. Where is a "Medical Spa" (part of the name of the place) going to be on this street? Oh, wait, it's that house right there. Ok... I park out front because the driveway's blocked and I walk up the driveway, trying to figure out where to go in. (There really should be a sign on the street or something.) I see a purple sign leaning against the garage out back and a door slightly ajar. Ok, so my mom will probably kill me for this, but I still had no fear and decided to walk into this random door on the garage. There are stairs, so I walk up them. Ta da! Spa-like surroundings upstairs. Well, that's a relief. I also find out they call it a "carriage house". I suppose that sounds better than telling your customers you operate out of a garage.

Next, they hand me paperwork to fill out. Most of it doesn't apply as it asks what kind of stress I have in my life and if I blush easily (for massages and skin treatments I guess). There are also a couple sheets towards the end that say things like "I verify that the procedure and its risks and benefits have been explained to me - [signature here]". So I told the girl, "Um, these haven't been explained to me yet, so I'm not signing this." She was fine with it, and said if I wanted to wait until they were explained to sign, that was fine. Um, obviously I do. Why would I sign something like that before having talked to the doctor? It's asking me to excuse the practice from all liabilities - um, no.

So the doctor comes in (from down the steps, which makes me think she lives in the house) and takes me back to a "room", but not really a room since there's no door, just a curtain. She asks me if I've shaved (no) and then hands me a razor and asks me to do a dry shave of the area. She explains why and all, and seems to have her reasons downpat (something about the laser not picking up the root if the hair is too long, blah blah), so I shave. (I also should point out, most places do consultations to make sure you're a good candidate for laser hair removal. Apparently she knew just looking at me??) She comes back in the room, has me lay back, and starts up the machine. Yeah, that's right. She didn't say a damn thing. Glad I didn't sign that paperwork! But again, I'm still not nervous for some reason. She as a person is very nice and makes me feel comfortable, minus the lack of information.

She has me put on these goggles (think tanning goggles but without the holes, so you can't see anything), and tells me the naked eye can't be exposed to the laser. I feel her put this cooling gel on me, and she tells me I may feel a bit of heat, but no pain. What?? No pain?? That's not what the interweb says! So I'm skeptical, waiting for the pain to come. She says "how was that?" I say "how was what?" If you're following, I can't see anything she's doing. But apparently she started and I didn't feel a damn thing. Ok, a bit of a lie. I could feel what felt like basically a roll on deodorant stick being rolled around on my body. So I felt THAT, but I felt NO pain, NO heat, nothing related to lasers. What the H-E-double hockey stick is going on here? I can hear the laser machine on, but I feel nothing that feels like I would imagine a laser feels like. I had to have fungi lasered off my foot once, and let me tell you, that HURT. AND they put about 13 shots of numbing stuff in it beforehand. Lasers = not pleasant. So... why does this laser feel so awesome? In the middle of it all, she asks if I want another area added on at all. I ask her how much, she leaves to find out, comes back and tells me $40 a session. Seriously? Done. So she does it. When she's all done she has me wipe the gel off, put some cortisone cream on, and meet her at the front desk for payment. The receptionist must only work til 5, because she was gone and the doctor herself was checking me out. Apparently they didn't have their credit card machine up and running yet because in order to use my credit card (I don't even THINK to carry cash anywhere these days), she had to send me a PayPal invoice and have me log onto her computer to pay it. Awkward? Sure. Did someone walk in and think I was the receptionist while I was doing it? Of course.

What I really think is happening here is there's this young doctor who lives in the house the carriage house is behind and is trying to build a medical spa from the ground up. Like I said, the actual inside looks all spa-like, it's just really tiny and happens to be in a garage. Weird? Yes. Does it probably scare a lot of people off? I'm sure. They may just be offering this awesome discount in order to build up their customer base. 589 people bought this deal - I checked! And there were other normal looking potential suckers patients there while I was there.

Yes, there are about 50 red flags in this post, and I'm sure you've all raised your eyebrows (or maybe even gasped out loud) at least once while reading it, but... I'm oddly optimistic? Hey, it's only 100 bucks, and I totally wouldn't pay $500+ per session anywhere else.

So I've either been duped or had the most awesome laser hair removal experience ever. The beauty of it is that I won't know for at least a couple weeks (until the hair falls out, or it grows back in the same spot I shaved). I'll keep you posted. Oh, and if this turns out to not be a scam I'm totally doing like every hair on my body. Except my head. That would be weird.

-C
xxx

The Future of This Blog

Via Google Images

(Note: I wrote this post prior to Grandude's passing, but postponed it for obvious reasons.)

I originally started this blog because A) I love weddings B) I was getting married C) I really had the urge to blog about weddings. I still love weddings, but now I am married and there isn't as much to blog about. I mean, eventually I'm going to run out of advice and stories that are wedding-related. Truth be told, I'm not the first to run into this problem. I follow a lot of wedding blogs (yes, still), and I know a lot of other bloggers who go through this "identity crisis" of sorts. I mean, you kind of almost feel like a fraud. Like, who wants to read about wedding stuff from someone who is already married? My friends, that's who, and that's it. Which is fine. BUT I think one of the reasons I haven't blogged as much lately is because I kind of felt like a fraud. I have tons of things I wish I could blog about, but aren't wedding-related. So... tell me, would it be so wrong of me to just make this into a not-always-wedding-related blog? Sure, I'll still post wedding stuff from time to time. Weddings interest me. Like, they actually do. I say it all the time, I love that sh#t. I know plenty of people out there who are like "weddings... yay..." and I'm like "WEDDINGS!!! YAY!!!" But I also think in order to keep my blogging going, I want to be able to blog about whatever I feel like blogging about in that particular moment. I've been inspired by this uber funny non-wedding blog lately (that I'm not going to name, lest you decide to judge me). I used to be told I was funny, and I miss that. I like to be funny. I like to make people laugh with my sarcasm and awesomeness, and I think having the freedom* to write about whatever, whenever, would allow the funny to come back. So a minute ago when I asked you if it would be wrong of me to blog about non wedding stuff? We're turning that into a rhetorical question because I'm not waiting for an answer. It's what I'm doing, and you'll like it.

Ok, I hope you'll like it. Please still love me... :)

-C

xxx

*Yes, I am fully aware that I am the one who made this a wedding blog, and that there are no rules that say I can't write about other stuff. I just didn't want anyone to be all "oooh that's not wedding-related, what a fraud". Ok, ok, no one I know would ever say that. I'm just informing you of things to come.

Grandude

Me and Grandude circa 1980something

I don't deal very well with death. I mean, I guess no one really does, but I feel like I take it harder than most. My Meamaw died in 2008 and I still break down about it from time to time. I go and "visit" her (her grave), and like to go alone because I just sob the entire time, and I don't like to do that in front of anyone. Hubby has not left the car when we've gone to the cemetery. I think he understands.

Now it's Grandude's time (Meamaw's husband). Yes, Grandude is like Madonna in that he only needs one name. He must be the only Grandude ever.

The entire time I was engaged I prayed that Grandude would live long enough to be at my wedding. I got my wish, and he even mustered the energy to walk me down the aisle along with my Pampie, and I'm so very thankful for that.

Although, I have to admit that selfishly it doesn't make the present situation any better. He's suffering. A lot. He was a long time smoker who was diagnosed with emphysema years ago. To be quite honest, I don't think I'm alone in thinking years ago that Meamaw would outlive him. But he's survived for a long time, although the quality of life has not been the best. He had to be on oxygen at all times. He couldn't breathe if he was outside and it was windy. When he got a cold, he ended up in the hospital because his immune system was so fragile. A little over a week ago when he ended up in the hospital, I wasn't sure if it was serious, or just another "routine" (for him) hospital stay.

I told my husband that if my mom said, without being prompted, that I needed to come to Maryland (she had already come down), then I would. She wouldn't tell me I needed to be there without reason. She did. She told me I needed to be there if I wanted to see him again. I was at a conference in Nashville, TN, and caught an earlier flight home to Philly, then drove the 3 hours down. He was in better shape, outwardly, than I expected. When Meamaw was in the hospital, toward the end, I think she knew we were there, but only the occasional hand squeeze showed us that. Grandude was in and out of consciousness, but when he was up, he was his normal self, only exhausted. He was "with it". Asking about my trip to Nashville. Asking about my husband. Cracking the occasional joke. But we knew he was suffering. He told us numerous times how uncomfortable and miserable he was. I really don't know how anyone can be comfortable in a hospital bed.

The next day he was told he had pneumonia, and made the decision that he was not going to take the medication to treat it. All he wanted was oxygen, nebulizer (for when he had a really hard time breathing), and pain medication to make him comfortable. He was ready to go. We talked about it with the doctor and he agreed to let him come home. He even said he would make the same decision for himself if he was in Grandude's shoes.

We took shifts playing nurse - giving him his medications, helping him nebulize, and fielding questions of "how long is this going to take?" and "why is it taking so long?" from Grandude himself. "It" being death. He was more than ready to go, and dealing with it better than any of us. He said there were to be no tears. I never saw one fall from his eyes - it was how we knew he was at peace with his decision. I like to think he'd been away from Meamaw for long enough, and was ready to see her again. It was heartbreaking to see how lonely he was without her. Eventually the morphine started to build up and he was unconscious, for lack of a better term. He was breathing, and moving around, but he was asleep and not opening his eyes. I really don't have a term for the state he was in. But he was comfortable, and that was comforting. Not that that stopped me from sobbing so hard that my jaw and head hurt. I had to leave him and say my goodbye before he was actually gone. It feels like that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know this is stupid, but saying goodbye to him while still alive felt like I was abandoning him and leaving him to die. I know that's not the case, since he is clearly dying and nothing I do can change that, nor should I want to since it's what he wants, but it's still such a hard thing to do - knowing it's the last time you will see someone alive. As morbid as it may sound, I wish he had died while I was there. I should clarify that he isn't gone yet, but it's only a matter of time. The only thing he is doing at the moment is breathing. The hospice doctor came by yesterday and said it should happen today or tomorrow (meaning yesterday or today).

I know it was the right thing for him to refuse medicine and come home to die. He was suffering. Dying takes away that suffering. He led a long and full life. He would have been 84 in May. He was a great guy, a loving and caring grandfather, father, and husband, and he'll always be the one and only Grandude. AKA "The Dude" as he would typically sign Christmas and birthday cards. I will always have great memories of him. Some will make me cry, most will make me laugh (ok, tears will probably be involved with that as well). He was a sweet, funny man, and we'll always remember his household inventions and notorious "particular" eating habits. All made us love him even more.

Hard at work at fixing a picture frame with duct tape

I'll also always have the handkerchief I had made for him for my wedding day, which I found in his house in an envelope with his placecard and invitation (how sweet is that?). That won't make me cry every time I see it or anything.

We'll always love you, Grandude. You will be missed more than words on a blog can say.

Grandude in a paper crown, winking at me.

UPDATE: Grandude passed away around 1pm on Februay 10, 2011.

-C
xxx

Golden Green-ness

Yeah, I know, I'm a little late to the party here, but just have to share two of my VERY FAVORITE LADIES (Angelina and Mila) and four VERY BEAUTIFUL GREEEEEN DRESSES. Why can't I go to the Golden Globes? I'd totally wear a green dress every time. Obvi.

Via People.com

PS How come Angelina can pull off the long-sleeved look?? Sigh. Also, pretty sure she's just as obsessed with green as I am, which clearly means we're meant to be BFFs. Remember the green earrings she wore to the Academy Awards in 2009? No? Oh.

Via Google Images

Well I do. Not like they were the inspiration for my wedding jewelry or anything...

-C
xxx

New Year Resolutions

Via Google Images

Every year people make resolutions for themselves when the new year begins. Well, I didn't actually come out and tell myself I'm going to do certain things, but for over a month now I have taken up what I can only call "bettering myself". Maybe the new year inspired me? Don't think so. I think it was that I had a couple months after the wedding that I just stopped doing everything I did before the wedding and I finally realized that my little "post wedding break" needed to be over. What am I talking about? Well, mainly the fact that my clothes weren't fitting right anymore due to mass comsumption of food. Yeah, I'm blaming it on the hubby. Not that he force feeds me or anything, but I guess it takes some getting used to (for me at least) to NOT eat everything, or the same quantity, that he eats. It's a proven fact that men need to eat more calories in a day because they (somehow, MIRACULOUSLY) burn off more. My hubby also goes to the gym, A LOT, so he needs to eat even more. I used to be all "screw the whole men eat more than women thing!" Um, yeah. At least 10 lbs. later (I won't step on the scale), I realize that they can, and they should, eat more than most women, and that I need to get over myself. Lol.

I get that I'm pretty much in the minority these days since we hadn't lived together until 2 weeks before getting married, and most people live together for a year, or a few years even, before tying the knot. So you probably all have a leg up on me. And you all should have warned me and given me this wisdom. For that, I blame you. :)

So since I like to think that writing things down will make them actually happen, and that my readers/friends will hold me accountable if I actually blog about it, I'm listing my "resolutions" below. It's kind of sad that my "resolutions" are things I did to better myself in the months before my wedding, but my problem then was that I had the end goal (our wedding date) to look forward to stopping all these things. Which is kind of stupid when you think about it. Were they painful and horrible to maintain? No! Now I have no end date by which to stop and I think that's good.

Anyway, I have unofficially resolved to:
** Getting into a going to the gym routine. 2 days a week is better than my usual 0. If I hit 3 times every now and then, even better! Also, using my Shake Weight while watching TV, etc. That's right, I own a Shake Weight. Don't mock it til you've tried it and have felt that burn under your arms - it works, I tell you!
** Eating better/less - as in, stop eating like my husband! First problem - I need to accept that I should not be eating the same quantities of things that he does. There's no reason to stuff yourself (I'm talking to myself here) just so that you both eat equal amounts. I've started giving him double from the getgo and only eating til I'm full - then he gets what's left on my plate (and loves it). I also try to trick myself by eating slower and then by the time I would get 2nds it's all gone because he's already eaten it! So there's one way to do it! Next problem - I usually make dinner for us at least 5 days a week, and have gotten into the pattern of making things that he likes - aka things with a ton of meat in them. Everything has to have meat in it! Now, I'm no veg, but this is ridiculous. I mean, mac and cheese has to have chicken, ham, or some sort of deli meat in it (gross, and no, I don't put it in mine. nor do I even eat mac and cheese to be honest - that's hubby's specialty for when I'm out of town). Really?? That's not necessary. For this problem there's a sub-resolution:
**Eating more vegtables; trying to eat vegetables in lieu of meat when hubby's not around. I've always like my veggies, but I'm starting to like them a lot! I'm not on my way to becoming a vegetarian or anything, but if you throw a vegetarian dish my way I'll definitely enjoy it! And definitely broadening my horizons with them as well. My favorite veg of the moment: orange peppers. YUM. Hubby definitely looks at me funny sometimes and asks, with disgust, "You're not going to become a vegetarian, are you?" I think he fears that I will stop making him meaty lasagna. Have no fear, hubby, lasagna just isn't the same without meat sauce.
** Making my own lunch more often. I've always done the pack a lunch thing, but usually only tops 3 days a week and want to start doing it more. Not only does it save money, but you control the portions. I have this problem where I have a really hard time leaving things on my plate... so controlling my own portions versus letting a deli or someplace do it, is probably good for me. You know what I'd like to see? More packed lunch vegetarian recipes. I'm on the hunt for these! Salads can get boring! (Let me know if you have one!)
** Flossing on a regular basis. I know, it sounds like I'm a 7 year old but for some reason I always forget/always tell myself I don't have time. Really? It takes less than a minute to floss. (This is the conversation I now have with myself when I try to talk myself out of flossing.)

So here's to a new year and to bettering myself!

Oh, and maybe I should add "blogging" to my resolutions. My bad...

-C
xxx