SMBHD - Uses Wayyy Too Much Body Wash

Maybe this is another "all men do it" kind of thing, I don’t know. Probably. But still - it AMAZES me how much body wash my BH goes through. I swear he uses like a bottle a week. And he wonders why I buy like 6 bottles when it's on sale and have a coupon! (I was recently put on a body wash buying freeze - but that should end in a couple weeks at his rate of usage.) To his credit, he doesn't care what body wash I get for him, but he does like Axe when I tell him he can get it because it's on sale. But still - he uses an unnecessary amount of it.

I have this theory that using a body poof extends the life of your body wash. I seriously use a bottle of body wash like once every couple months. That's a lie. I actually have NO IDEA when I last purchased body wash for me, but I know it takes me forever to get through a bottle, because a little bit goes a long way! Putting it on the poof makes it suds (?) up instead of just dumping a bunch in your hand and spreading it all over your body. Scientific proof that my theory is correct.

So I told him my theory and tried telling him he should use one of those manly body poofs like what Axe sells:

The "Axe Detailer". Much manlier than my poof.
via Google Image Search

But he scoffed and "psshhed" and gave me side eye like I was some crazy woman. Note to YOU - he did the same thing when I told him he should do yoga, and now he goes 3 times a week because someone else told him he should, but that's a story for another day. Anyway. I tried to tell him he should get a manly body poof because he would use less body wash that way. But, just like with yoga, he wants nothing to do with it because I suggested it and apparently I'm crazy and know nothing about anything.

So what needs to happen here is one of two things:
1 - Someone other than me needs to tell him how great body poofs are and that he should get one. Then he'll come running back to me telling me what a great idea this person had and I'll smack him and remind him that it was my idea first and he won't remember because apparently he blocks out my great ideas until someone else tells him about them.
OR
2 - MOB or MIL - you need to throw one in his stocking for Christmas.

If I get it for him he'll make me return it and get all, "Cynthia, why did you buy me this stupid thing. I'm not using it." (read that in a British accent for the full effect)

While we're on the topic of body wash (who knew I'd have so much to say about body wash??), I hate that men's body wash companies feel the need to make it in ridiculous colors like electric blue and blood red. Every now and then, I guess when BH is in a rush, I'll be like, "Why was he bleeding on the shower curtain? Oh wait, that's just body wash." They also make men's body wash SO THICK that it's not just the color, but the consistency that throws me off. The electric blue… ok, yeah, it's not like I think that's anything other than what it is, but I still don't like it when it coats my shower wall. I guess their purpose is so that men can see it and make sure they wash it all off before they get out of the shower? Maybe?? Although I'm not sure how it can be that hard…

-C
xxx

Random Ramblings of the Week 9/26

Yeah, I know I missed last week... I guess I had no random ramblings to report. Ha. Just kidding. I always have random ramblings... But really things have been just a tad busy around here. On to the ramblings...

We went to Cape May for our anniversary. It was so pretty, but of course it was cold and rainy. More on that trip soon, I promise.

We had our frozen wedding cake on our one year anniversary! And yes, it was still good. Someone told me they were surprised I could get my husband to eat year old cake. 1- Have you met my husband? Do you know his obsession with food? 2- Here's the full story of our cake: I don't like cake. I like cheesecake, ice cream cake, and this one super awesome strawberry cake recipe I found in high school sometime and my mom has been making me every year on my birthday since. Most of the time I wouldn't finish it all and then I would freeze it, because I freeze almost everything. The obvious ones like veggies and meat… but also cheese, eggs, herbs, etc. So why not cake? My mom was skeptical, but the first time I defrosted it and tasted that strawberry goodness, yum. So now I always freeze it, and Tim got a chance to taste it thawed out when he was visiting one time before we got married, which is how we picked our cake. And also that's why he was cool with (and excited about) eating our 1 year old cake. Moral of the story: Freezing your wedding cake can be done and can taste delicious. As long as it's super awesome strawberry cake.


I wish I had seen this idea before our anniversary. Like people do with their babies, you have something with the number of anniversaries you've had - like a framed number 10.

via Derksen Photography

Maybe I can photoshop a "1" in one of our pics somewhere and remember to do it for real every year from now on... or I'll just photoshop numbers in every year because odds are I'll probably forget.

We were in Denver for under 26 hours this weekend. jet.set.ters. Rosie's wedding was BEAUTIFUL! And I'm pretty sure I'm finally starting to understand how to use my fancy camera so I should have some pretty sweet pictures. Be on the lookout. Although who knows how long it'll take me to get the pictures off my camera, so you may be on the lookout for quite some time… Here's a sneak peak:


I hate it when people say "You welcome." It's "You're welcome." It's like nails on a chalkboard for me when people do this. When we were at TJ Maxx in Denver this weekend (oh yes we did), this one woman who worked there kept helping people and saying it over and over when people would thank her and I just wanted to shake her.

When I was putting my suitcase away last night all I could think was FINALLY! I don't even know the next time I'm going to have to bust this baby out. As far as I know it's not going to be before December! We've got a couple small trips between now and then, but no flights involved and only overnight so no need for my suitcase.

My mom got me a luggage set for Christmas in 2008. I was just going to say how it's definitely been put to good use in the short amount of time I've had it, but then I realized that's almost THREE years ago, so I guess what I should say is I'm surprised it hasn't fallen apart yet with all the traveling I've done since then!! But I love my luggage set. Guess what - it's green. :) I'm going to be sad when it dies someday.

I just realized how awesome jewelry polishing cloths are. I've had one forever. I don't even know where I got it from. I feel like Meamaw might've given it to me in my teens and I never knew what to do with it. In the past few months I've noticed a ton of my silver jewelry being tarnished. I'm really not sure if it's because I never noticed it before, or if there's something in the air in my room that makes them tarnish?? Maybe because it's so hot and humid up there? Anyway, I've never polished my jewelry before a couple months ago. Last night, while I was unpacking, I sat down with my polishing cloth and went to town on a couple bracelets Meamaw gave me and, I mean, it's like new jewelry. Then I couldn't put the cloth down. I was walking around looking for things to clean. The only problem is I have to wash my hands after because they get all the tarnish on them from the dirty side of the cloth. Ok the only other problem is that my cloth says not to wash it. Since I'm pretty sure this thing is at least 10 years old… where on earth do I get another one? There's no website or anything on the case. I'm a polishing fiend now.

I got a negative ion watch last week. I really just wanted one because I've been seeing people with them on and they looked cute. Turns out they're more than just skinny, cute, watches. They have "negative ions", aka tourmaline, which supposedly helps your mood, helps you sleep better, aids in weight loss and detoxification... amongst other things. I hope it works, but if it doesn't, it's still cute.

Skinny Watch on Amazon

-C
xxx

SMBHD - Doesn't Know HIS Geography

So we're going to Denver tomorrow... and coming back on Sunday. We're crazy, I know this. My friend Rosie is getting married, though, and it's going to be awesome! It's just too bad the trip has to be so short!

Yesterday I realized I hadn't checked the weather in Denver and was a bit concerned that my summer dress I bought for the wedding might need tights and leg warmers and a parka. So I checked the weather and I was like, "Wow - it's actually going to be warm!" (80's for your information) He looks at me funny and he's like, "Well obviously." So I give him the look that probably says "Oh, this is gonna be good" and ask him what he means by "obviously".

"Well, Denver's in the desert."

Is it, now??

via Destination360

I informed him that Colorado is known for having great ski areas and that, no, it is not, in fact, in the desert. He then tried to rationalize it by saying that it was near Arizona, because (he somehow knew) they get all their water from Colorado. I asked him why he thought that was... got no response... then told him the snow melting off all of the mountains probably had something to do with it.

So, I'm glad I got a little payback for all the geography pop quizzes he gives me.

-C
xxx

SMBHD - First Anniversary Edition

And now, for a very special SMBHD...

This Sunday is our one year anniversary. I CAN-NOT believe it. I guess that's a good thing, right? That I'm not like, "Oh man, that was the longest year of my life." Lol. Nope, we're still good. We've been through a lot in our first year of marriage, actually. The deaths of Grandude and Scooter... job stress... green card stress... not to mention an earthquake, a hurricane, and a tornado! When you think about it, that's a lot to go through in just the first year of marriage. At least I think so. But we've evolved into a team and faced all these things together. Go us!


My BH is a pretty awesome hubby, and he's not too hard on the eyes either. ;) He's the best roommate I've ever had (and he says the same about me), which is a pretty big key to marriage if I do say so myself! Of course, I have my gripes, and I'm sure he has his, but nothing major. Besides, I get to vent it all out on here. :) We're very comfortable in our daily lives. It's weird to miss him when I'm away from him for a night, even though we were apart for so long before we were married and he was still in England! If we have to travel alone, I'm glad I'm usually the one who goes away because I don't like sleeping in our house alone. :( I love cooking for him. It's hard not to when he eats practically anything and loves any and all food! And sometimes, when I've had a bad day, he'll have salads waiting at home for us from Couch Tomato (our FAVORITE!), so I don't have to cook. Also, wait for it… he likes to clean. Which is awwwwwesome. I haven't cleaned a bathroom in a year! Do you know how amazing that is? And he sometimes brings me home cheese from my favorite Italian market. Do you even know??! Cheese is my favorite. And it sure as hell is the way to my heart.

My favorite comic strip ever (from Get Fuzzy, posted at my desk at work - sorry, couldn't find the image online):

Satchel: Ahhh, Cheese. Is there anything you can't do? You cheer me up when I'm sad. You fill my belly when it's gurgly, and when I'm full, I can roll you up into a ball and play with you.
Bucky: What are you, the official spokesdog of Wisconsin?
Satchel: Ohh, ho ho! I wish!

Ohh, ho ho. I wish, too!

Anyway, anniversary. Right. The first anniversary is supposed to be a paper gift. Luckily I think we both did that without even thinking about it. I'm not sure if we'll continue to go by the guidelines "they" made or not. I'm sure he wouldn't care, but I might. We'll see how I feel about it this time next year. Besides the gifts, we're going to Cape May for the weekend! Scoping out the Cape May Winery and the shore... for the first and last time this summer *sigh*. Too bad it's supposed to be 65 degrees. Damn fall, why you gotta creep in on the last weekend of summer!

And then we come home on Sunday to our bottle of wine we brought back from our honeymoon, and defrosted wedding cake. I totally almost forgot about that - yay more space in the freezer! Lol.

So happy anniversary to us. He won't read this so I can't send any heartfelt messages out to him anyway (phew!).


-C
xxx

Random Ramblings of the Week 9/12

I hate when cab drivers honk at you to see if you want a cab. HATE. Like, I kind of want to run over and punch them in the face when they do that. It's like, "Oh, look at that person walking down the street - she shouldn't be walking, who walks?? She obviously wants a cab even though she's not looking around trying to flag one down! Let me just do this short, obnoxious, one honk thing that all (Philadelphia) cab drivers do, then she'll want to get in my cab!" If I wanted a cab, I'd be looking for one. I'm aware this isn't an issue in New York, since you can't get a cab to save your life. Sorry for complaining about the inundation of cabs in Philly.

Which makes me also think of construction workers and random men in cars. When you whistle or yell things at us (females), what exactly do you think you're going to accomplish? Do you think we're going to run right over and make out with you? I mean, seriously. Do you really think that? Because sometimes I think you do since I can't figure out why else you would do it. NEWSFLASH: That's not going to happen. Ever.

Tim decided last week that he wanted to put some pictures up on his desk at work. I told him I had some frames he could take. We got this nice frame from someone for our wedding that on the inside had a heart shaped jewel thing attached to some matting. He went to put his picture in and took it off. Which left a hole in the matting. I asked why he took the heart off. He said it was girly. So I said, "But you'd rather have a hole in it than a heart?" Yes, he said. Men! Turns out that frame was only for vertical pictures (like, wouldn't stand horizontally), so I ended up not letting him take it anyway and put the G-D heart back on. Now I have to go get him some frames at the store today, because the thought of having to go to the store and purchase frames is clearly too much for him. He'd rather just pester me about needing them.

This made me realize that I have ZERO wedding pictures on my desk at work. Well, had. I brought one in today. You know I love my wedding pictures, so why did it take me a year to bring one in?! Lol. Probably because I already have so much crap on my desk... including non-wedding photos... But now this has gone from zero to 60 and I want like 15 wedding pictures on my desk - of not just us, but fam and friends. Because they're probably the best pictures I'll ever have of anyone in my life (including myself)! Now I need frames for me, too. And space on my desk. Maybe I need one of those big collage frames like I had in college.

Sorry no SMBHD last week. I've been mondo busy. I know I told you I have a million drafts, and I do, trust me, but they're drafts, and they need to be finalized, and finalizing them means I need time to do so. I don't have that kind of time at the moment. I like these random ramblings posts because I can just jot down a random thought at any time during the week and then compile them and boom, post done. WARNING: SMBHD this week is probably not going to be funny. Sorry. This coming weekend will mark our one year anniversary (seriously?!), so I should probably be nice.

Football started this weekend!! And I randomly realized that I enjoy listening to it on the radio??? Not that I'd pick radio over HD TV, but I was driving home from my mom's house, listening to the game, when I suddenly realized it's not that bad. Listening to baseball on the radio is kind of bad, but that's because they don't really paint the picture for you. They're like "*Silence. Silence.* Ball 4." But football you hear, "To the 40, to the 30, to the 20 - TOUCHDOWN!!" and then you scream and clap and the people in the other cars look at you like you're a maniac. It's awesome.

PS - I LOVE football. I don't know why it took me 20 years to get into it (I started watching it in college).

PPS - When I first met Tim, he hated football. Well, "hated". He'd never watched it, but had the mentality that a lot of Brits seem to have, which was that it's not "real" football (soccer), and that in "real" football they don't wear pads and helmets and they don't stop so much. I explained to him that it was a different sport altogether, but he wasn't having it. Eventually he changed his mind and now loves it as much as I do (um, if not more). His mates mock him for it.

That's enough for today.

-C
xxx

Random Ramblings of the Week 9/5

Red sox were disappointing this weekend, but, nonetheless, it was still really great to be able to watch them on NESN and with other sox fans to boot.

Laura made three pies this weekend and now Tim has decided that I need to make him pies. Thanks a lot Laura! Lol. (Not doing it, though.)

Margaritas are delicious. Especially when you have them in Maine.

Lobsters are delicious. Especially when you have them in Maine. ESPECIALLY when Laura makes tater tots with them.

My Pampie is the best bartender ever. Your glass is never empty and happy hour starts at the very latest at 5pm every day. Saturday it started at 4. Sunday it started for him at noon, for me about 1.

Saturday's happy hour also doubled as pregaming for church. Well, a church dinner. Tim and I aren't really church goers. But we enjoyed their food! And pregaming for church is funny.

I want to retire and live in Maine. How many years do I have left?

Got to go look at a bunch of Pampie's mementos (including yearbooks, old letters, diary from when he was in the Navy) this weekend. Really enjoyed that! And now have a poster to hang in our house with his name on it from when he was a "sensational trombone playing 13 year old" and playing with a dance hall band (I guess that's what you would call it?). Framing it!

Not ready to go home... and can't.stop.taking.lake.pictures.

Oh right, Happy Labor Day.

-C
xxx

SMBHD - Can't Find a Damn Thing

My BH seriously can't find anything. He decides within 5 seconds of looking that he's not going to find it and I'm pretty sure he's convinced I know where things are and am hiding them from him or telling him wrong places to look on purpose. The truth is he just WILL NOT look for things. He looks only in the one spot I tell him it might be.

I have it on good authority that this is genetic and my FIL is the same way... and by good authority I mean that my MIL told me a story the other day and asked me to add "SMBHDD" (Sh*t My British Husband's Dad Does) and then proceeded to tell me this story:

FIL, beer in hand, was looking for bottle opener in a kitchen drawer. Says he can't find it, in a huff I'm sure (only because I know the look, the heavy sigh, the overexaggerrated (sorry Peter) frustration well from my BH). MIL can see the bottle opener on the counter, tells him, "It's right there." He opens a second drawer (for some reason). Frustratedly says he still can't find it. Fully expecting her to get up and get it. I know this because it's EXACTLY what my BH does.

When she told me this story I had already shared my woes of how Tim couldn't find anything if his life depended on it, unless I told him the exact spot it was in. She said I should do a blog on it. I was confused. I thought I already had?? Nope, it was still in my drafts folder, waiting for a rainy day. You'd be surprised how many SMBHD drafts there are... :)

Now onto my examples:
He asks if we have any aspirin. There are two places we keep medicine in our house - a bin in the bathroom and a bigger bin in the upstairs hall closet. If I were looking for something, I would go check both, rooting around until I found it. He will ask me where it is first, which means I have to guess which box it's in. It's a pretty big gamble because I know if it's not in the first place, he won't go look in the second... or even if it is in the first place, if it's not right on top, he doesn't dig any deeper. He will return to me, say, "It's not there." and want me to go look for it. So I chance it and say the bathroom bin. I sit there, fingers crossed, counting the seconds until he comes back, hoping that maybe just this once I won't have to walk upstairs to look in the same place he just did... Lo and behold, about 30 seconds later he comes back, gives an exasperated sigh, like he'd been looking for AGES, and says the four words I dread the most... "I can't find it." I've tried shrugging it off, like, "Oh well, I guess it's not there then", but he'll usually just stand there staring at me until I get up and find it for him.

Also, I'd say about 90 percent of the time, it's in the exact area I told him to look.

I have also on several occasions asked him to get something out of the pantry for me. Sometimes I do it to try to teach him how to look for things, I'm not gonna lie. That doesn't involve him going up and down stairs to tell me where he's looked and not found things, so it takes him longer to get frustrated. Lol. So far it hasn't worked very well... because if it's not on the exact shelf I tell him it's on, he will not look one shelf up or one shelf down. I don't get it! Why, god, why!

BTW, I do inform him of the fact that I am trying to teach him to look for things, which you would think would make him try a little harder?? Nope.

MEN.

Or, at least, British Husbands. :)

-C
xxx