So, they're not EXACTLY what I had in mind when I decided last minute that I NEEDED sparkly shoes for my birthday, but they worked. What I really wanted were these:
Didn't you just hear an angels singing when you saw those? No? Just me? Really?? Oh well. I heart them so bad. I love that they're multi-color sparkles instead of just gold, which is pretty much all I could find last minute at DSW this weekend. It really pains me that I saw these shoes at every Marshall's and TJ Maxx I went to over the winter, and wanted them, but couldn't think of one place I would wear them. STUPID! STUPID! One should always remember that one is entitled to sparkly birthday shoes. ALWAYS. Write that down.
Ok, enough with the shoes. Today is my 25th birthday. It may not be the first 25th birthday I've had (nor will it be my last). I'm forever 25, just remember that. There is no big 3-0 on the horizon for this girl. I'm going to continue to have 25th birthdays since it WORKS. I think the only people who actually know how old I am are those the same age as me, and my mom. My friends who are older or younger never quite seem to know... and I've even fooled myself. I seriously have to count if I have to write it on a legal form or something. I've tricked not only most of you, but myself as well! SUCCESS!
In my 25th year...
~Life in my THIS 25th year is pretty sparkly. No, it's not perfect. I've had to deal with deaths of three loved ones so far this year, and it's only June. I'd like a new job. My husband is stressed out about his. We don't own a house or a nice car. But for the most part I'm comfortable in my everyday life, and that makes me happy, which = sparkly. Some day I will get a new job and we will buy a house (don't really care so much about the car - you know why if you've seen the streets I have to park on). Then I will be SUPER SPARKLY. But for the time being, I'm happy in my life with my husband. I love seeing him occasionally in the middle of the day for lunch, and in the evenings when we get home from work (NOT IN THE MORNINGS). I love the things we do together. I have a permanent concert going partner (EXCEPT HE REFUSED TO GO TO BRITNEY WITH ME). I also enjoy the things we don't do, together - like sit on the couch and watch bad TV. I love how easy it is being married to him, every day. Ok, don't tell anyone, but I smile sometimes just walking around the house when I feel that easiness and that happiness. That's gotta reach my mush-quota for the quarter.
~I've been doing some reflecting recently and had a eureka moment the other day. Holy crap, I'm a grown up. Sure, I've pretty much always been a responsible, mature person, but I guess I just realized there are some things that are more important to me that weren't before, and there are things I used to tolerate that I won't anymore.
~I've realized who my friends for life are going to be. I'm sure there will be additions along the way, but for right now I know who I'll be talking to still in 20 years. It's a comforting feeling.
~I'm trying to just "let things go". It doesn't mean things don't bother me, just means I don't dwell on them because I've realized there's no point. I'm letting go of some of the things that stress me out. I have come to realize that people do the things they do, and there's a certain level of frustration you reach where you realize it's time to stop trying to make them not do those things. Apparently there is a point where screaming and yelling at your brother who just doesn't "get" the world gets you so frustrated that you just don't even want to deal with it anymore. At all. Instead of letting things like this continually frustrate me and stress me out, I'm letting them go or at least settle so that I can deal with them better and not irrationally.
~As we get older, we all change. I think the realizations I've been having are a direct result of me changing. Changing the way I deal with people (or don't), changing the way I view things, changing how I deal with frustrations, changing my general outlook on everyday life. We all will change. Some for the good, some for the bad. The problem is you can't, well, change someone else's change. You have to realize they've changed and they aren't the same person you once knew, and adjust the relationship you have accordingly. I've had to do some adjusting like that a few times in the past couple years.
~I've been trying to eat right, and have been drinking less. I enjoy a good night of drinking, but I used to have a beer or glass of wine every night, and I don't anymore. No real conscious effort to do so, I just don't. I think it has helped my sleeping to be honest (I used to have to take Ambien every night).
~Time has flown in this past year, but I feel like I've grown a lot. I've learned that respecting someone means more to me than I ever knew. I've accepted that things don't happen immediately and you have to wait patiently (OK, I MEAN LIKE NEW JOBS. NOT SPARKLY SHOES. THOSE NEED TO HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY STILL.).
Ok that's enough realizations for me for the year.
Happy Sparkly Birthday To Me!
-C
xxx
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