SMBHD - KNOWS ABOUT THIS SEGMENT

And guess who told him?? His MOM. Thanks Susie! Ha. I knew it'd happen eventually.

He was like, "So, my mum told me you're drawing cartoons of me online or summit." And I thought he was going to get mad because he hates being on the internet. So I simply said, "I warned you you'd be on my blog." So then he wanted to see what I was writing, and I showed him.

To my surprise - he LAUGHED. And now that I think about it, it was more of a laugh of success - like the one he does when he pulls a prank on me or something. It was the laughter of a troublemaker being extremely proud of the things he does.

And so the segment will continue.

Someday I may even draw a new ridiculous picture of him.

Don't hold your breath on that one.


-C
xxx

Dear Hair...

Dear Hair - I hate you. Not even the style I have at the moment, just YOU. When it rains - POOF. When it's just a tad bit humid - POOF. When it's winter - STATIC.

My hair is the worst. People think it's straight. It's not. It's also not curly. So I suppose it's wavy since it's somewhere inbetween, but it's not like a cool I-could-ever-pull-off-a-beachy-wavy-hairdo kind of thing. I straighten my hair every GD morning. The second I step outside, if it's rainy, humid (which is, like, April - October in Philly, believe it or not), too cold, too hot (because then I get sweaty and my hair doesn't do any form of moisture), or windy… so, basically every day of my life… my hair is just done. I think it's evil. It plays coy like, "Oh yeah, you straightened me so good today! I'm going to look good for you for once!" Then as soon as I step outside it laughs in my face and calls me a sucka. Or something like that.

I've even started using products in my hair - which I didn't do for many many years. NOTHING WORKS.

So after failure after failure, every few days I just give up and pin my hair back in a not-so-cute whatever you want to call it. It's not a ponytail because I don't have enough hair for such a thing. It's not a bun for the same reason. I guess it's a nub, with short side hairs falling all over the place. I look so cool.

My beauty girl (formerly waxer, currently just does my facials) told me I should try a Keratin treatment or Brazilian blow out. I thought those were just for people with curly hair, but what do I know? Apparently nothing "Keratin treatments smooth coarse and curly hair that resists styling or hair that tends to react to humidity or heat." OMG that's me. Well, the next time a Living Social deal pops up for one of these treatments, I may just take them up on it. Although there is mucho controversy surrounding these things, because some of the treatments use formaldehyde, a chemical linked to causing cancer, and can cause nose bleeds and other fun stuff. Hmmm… I think I need to ask my hair stylist next time I go in. Or just shave my head. OR carry a flat iron around with me at all times. I totally brought mine with me to work the other day because we were having a big event and I didn't want to look… like I normally do. And it was raining.

^ Me, like every day of my life.
via Google Image Search

Who wants to pitch in and buy me a stylist for life?

Seriously, why can't I just wear a wig? Just throw it on in the morning and be done with it. I really want to. And it would save me from making sooo many frivolous attempts at having a decent hair day.

Arrrrrg

-C
xxx

SMBHD - Sings Annoying Songs on Purpose

I've started actually holding my phone when I'm sleeping in the morning once he's gotten out of bed. Good thing, too. We had a tug of war with it the other morning because he was trying to put it out of my reach again.

So… what else does my BH* do? I really should have started writing all the things down when I was threatening him that I was going to do this. Hopefully I'll remember (not likely), but more than likely he'll do some of it again.

My BH likes to sing. No, not, like, serenading me or anything non annoying like that. He likes to walk around the house singing things as loudly and annoyingly as possible. And by annoyingly, I mean he actually does it with the intent to annoy and with the most devilish grin possible on his face. Usually he sings the music from the chorus to Ring of Fire. Also, football (soccer for Brits) chants. Looootttts of football chants. Usually one about Steve Gerrard. Special shout out to our friend Dave G. for taking him to the Philadelphia Union game the other night and providing him with yet ANOTHER tune to sing around the house. THANKS DAVE.

Oh, and when I'm trying to peacefully fall asleep at night, he sings all of these, one by one, pausing for silence between each one for full effect and to make me think he's done singing for the night.

It's fun for you, it's fun for me, come on everybody do Xfinity...

We are Farmers, bah bah bah bah bum bum bum

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!

He laughs hysterically while doing it. And when I cause him physical harm to make him stop ask him politely to stop and make him promise not to sing it again, he starts singing another one and says, "I promised I wouldn't do THAT one!" until he runs out of jingles to fake promise not to sing. I'm pretty sure I live with a 5 year old boy, but don't alert the authorities. He swears he's 26.


-C
xxx

*BH = British Husband

Royal Wedding Hat Roundup

So, yeah, I know, I'm a little late to this party, but whatever. I've been busy. And blogger sucked pretty bad last week. And I still want to talk about hats, so I'm going to.

I delved into some of the best British gossip sites to find me some awesome and ridiculous royal wedding hats. Turns out most of the goodies were actually on American news sites. Because that's how America rolls. What Lindsay Lohan wears to court is a CNN Breaking News tweet (true story).

Let's get started.

We've all seen it. Princess Beatrice's ridiculous "hat". It even has a facebook fan page with over 140,000 fans.

Wow. Just wow.
via the Mirror

via Washington Post

I kind of want to be friends with the old biddy in purple.
via OK! Magazine

Also kind of want to be friends with this old biddy in purple.

via Ok! Magazine

via Orlando Sentinel

via Washington Post

via Washington Post

Don't remember where this pic came from, but they look like ladies who lunch to me.
Ladies who lunch in hats. AKA my dream life.

Pretty sure she just poked him in the eye.
via Orlando Sentinel

via Orlando Sentinel

I'm not sure who started this "hats going on your forehead/awkwardly on the side of your head" business, but I can't say I'm a fan. I am, however, and always will be, a fan of people who have the guts to wear any sort of hat. So they make the post.

One of William's exes via Daily Mail

Um, 'scuse me - your hat's inside out. And apparently falling off. Not sure why.
It looks securely fastened to the side of your head, where everyone knows hats go.
via Orlando Sentinel

via Orlando Sentinel

Finally, a green hat!
via Daily Mail

I think my favorite is actually not even a green hat. Weird. It's Princess Letizia of Spain (in the pink, below). I love the style of her hat. It's fashionable even though it's "tame" as far as royal wedding hats go. I'd probably prefer it in another color (green), but I think this whole ensemble really works for her. Love the feathers in the hat and the fascinator in front, too.

via Orlando Sentinel

via Daily Mail

PS GUESS WHAT - Bonnie's making us super awesome hair pieces for her wedding! We picked up flowers and feathers and ribbon (oh my) and who knows what else will end up in there, but I'm excited to wear it! Her wedding's basically going to be like a super awesome Bonnie Quick fashion show. Better start practicing my runway strut.

-C
xxx

Bonnie's Sew In Love Shower Hour

This past weekend was Bonnie's Bachelorette Weekend! Amanda knows someone with a Poconos house and she let us use it for the weekend and it was great! We basically just hung out at the house all weekend. The first night we imbibed a bit and Bonnie started her own dance party in the living room. I went to bed at 3am, and was told that it was a little shocking that I'd be the first to tap out. Ha. But I did, because I wanted to wake up the next morning and decorate for Bonnie's "shower".

Back story - Bonnie's family had a shower for her over Christmas in some other state, so we attempted to throw another shower for her (for us) but her fam was like "You crazies, we already had a shower for her!" or something not quite like that and we ended up cancelling but decided to roll it into her bachelorette weekend. Pre cancellation, we decided on a sewing theme (Sew In Love) for her shower, since she sews awesome clothes and stuff. Amanda and I (Amanda is one of her MOHs) had already been looking up fun sewing-themed DIY projects for the decorations. Even though we weren't having a shower, I still wanted to utilize these decorations because, um, do you know me? I love decorations. Anyway, I made these super awesome (as far as I'm concerned) button garlands and draped them around. I seriously could make button garlands forever. Remember Aunt Cheri's button jar? No? Well, while I was planning my wedding I needed buttons for stuff. Stuff like my bouquet and the men's boutonnieres. So Aunt Cheri basically forces tells me to take her big button jar that we have no idea where it really originated from. It may have belonged to my great grandma, or this woman we're sort of related to through marriage. Let's just call her Anne and leave the explanations out. Anyway, seriously, it's this huge jar full of buttons. I mean, this thing could have been from both my great grandma, Anne, and thensome. You know how when you buy something with buttons and they give you replacement buttons? Or when you buy buttons for something and they give you 800 of them in a pack (I'll never have to buy buttons). Imagine decades and decades of those just thrown in a jar. Then imagine my excitement of being given all those buttons that I actually have a use for! Then imagine Aunt Cheri's excitement of getting rid of this massive jar of buttons she didn't know what to do with. Ok, you probably don't know Aunt Cheri, so let's just say she was more than happy to pass them along. We also found more buttons in more jars, sewing kits, and spools of thread and all that good stuff while cleaning out my Grandude's house (and also some things my aunt had from Anne). I was like "Oooh more buttons!" and my mom and aunt were like "Great… TAKE THEM". I don't know why, but in my head, all I wanted to decorate with were old sewing things. I guess it's like that vintage, retro feel or something.

Spools via Google Image Search

If we were having a big shower, I think I definitely would have taken on some more sewing-themed projects - like these:

Yarn Flowers via A Subtle Revelry
(I would have done more toned-down, antiquey colors, but these are still fun) - check out the tutorial!

How cute are the utensil wraps?? Utensil wraps and cake below via LeslieSarna.com

Spool vases via LushLee.com

Test tube and spool bud vases - so cute!

Via TheHastackNeedle (photo originally via Rachel Ray)

Amanda was going to give sewing kits out as the favor if we had a big shower (so cute!):

Sewing Kit from DollarTree.com

But we were pretty much just having a little shower, aka "Bonnie's Power Hour Shower", so not too much decoration was needed. Confession - because it was small, I definitely had to fight with myself to keep it small. As in, restricting myself to minimal decoration.


(There are no pictures of any of us because basically I ended up decorating for breakfast. Meaning none of us had showered or put on any makeup. So you only get the decorations. Also, the lizard on the window is not part of the decor. He came with the house.)

I loved the garlands so much that I was determined to not throw them away. I didn't really know what I would ever use them for again (oh, hello, you're having a baby? Babies like buttons, right?? Lol), but I refused to trash them after spending so much time on them. As I was rolling them up (HINT: if you do button garlands, you should wrap them around a cardboard tube or something. These things tangle like WHOA and are pretty much impossible to untangle.), Bonnie asked what I was doing with them, and to my surprise, actually asked if she could keep them! Bonnie isn't really a "things" person, or at least not to the extent that I am (and yes, I'll admit, I'm excessive), so yeah, it was a bit surprising, not gonna lie. But I'm glad she wanted them! She said she'd put them up in her sewing room, which I think it perfect.

I also did button necklaces for us all for the weekend. We all had a different color. Guess what mine was.


Ooooh snap. I just found a "Cute as a Button" baby shower theme. Quick - somebody have a baby. Anyone but me. Come on. I have buttons. Will make garlands. Pick a color, any color.

-C
xxx

Photos that look like they're by me, are by me.

SMBHD - Throws Pillows

I woke up this morning to a pillow landing square on my face. It was launched from across the room. I was DEAD asleep. This was not the first time this had happened. No, pillows aren't just randomly flying around my room. It was followed up with a very cheerful "Good moooorning!!" Then my phone (which is my alarm) was moved across the room (versus in the bed with me and within my reach) so I couldn't find it when the alarm went off. I sleep with a sleep mask so all I can hear is *hehehehehehe* as I flail my arms around looking for said phone. No, I don't have any children. This would be the work of my husband, the troublemaker. The "thinks he's soooo funny" Brit.

I warned him I was going to start a "Sh*t My British Husband Does"* segment on the blog, but he clearly didn't listen.



Boom.

-C
xxx

*Yes, I'm playing off of Sh*t My Dad Says.

Image created using my own picture and random clipart images already on my computer.